after illness...
and some resolutions for the new year
The last week has been a complete blur and I have spent most of it lying down, feeling very sorry for myself. I got sick right at the end of the year and only vaguely marked the year passing around me. I don’t really recommend it to anyone, but shivering under a blanket in 30-degree weather while your whole body aches horribly really puts things into perspective.
I might still have a pretty bad cough that makes it sound like I’m throwing up a lung but being sick did give me some time to think about what I really hate and will stop doing, what I quite like and want to do more of, and what I hope to do in the future. So this is kind of a vague list of new year’s resolutions/semi-observational manifesto, mostly about things I hate about the internet and trends I’ve noticed.
The idea of Substack… kind of sucks. Lots of people have “free posts” which are essentially lures to try and get you to subscribe to their paid posts. Most people do not have much to say that is worth paying to hear, and then even when you are trying to peacefully read a free post just to see what it’s all about, you get the distinct feeling that the writer is shaking their jazz hands, gesturing towards the wall of locked content. I hate that, and there will never be any paid posts on here.
Having said that, I hope to post a little more than I currently do, but only if I have something interesting and worthwhile to say, otherwise this is just yet another annoying newsletter that no one reads and deletes as soon as it arrives! Sorry if you already do that!
People are getting way too comfortable with making generalisations, assuming that their own individual experience is universal instead of exactly what it is – individual. Social media is full of this bullshit and I’m tired of seeing it. I’m also tired of being pushed things to buy by influencers, and have been burned more than once by a few “food recs” which turned out to be mediocre, if not worse… so we’re doing less social media this year.
Lots of people have terrible taste in books. That was revealed to me at the end of this year when people were doing their end of year book round ups & things that they are anticipating reading. I also think the push for “representation” in books is incredibly lazy and while I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing to have more variety, I think you’re lazy if you insist on only reading books that feel “relatable” to your experience. My reading is already pretty varied, but I’m always looking for new things - this probably won’t change much in 2025.
It’s tiresome to feel like you have to have an opinion on everything. An ironic bulletpoint to have after what seems like 4 very strong opinions. But I think there is way too much pressure to have something smart and definitive to say on a topic and often end up saying nothing at all. However as a counterpoint to that, it can be interesting to see the way people approach the formation of a thought – quite often more interesting than the thought itself. Which is probably why things like are.na or digital gardens are so fascinating. More thinking about things, less talking about the things.
Being able to let things go and stop doing things when you’re not enjoying them anymore!!!!! I’m really not good at doing this so hopefully I get a bit better at it this year.
Growing my (non-existent) attention span. Just over the course of writing this very short newsletter, I’ve taken countless breaks (toilet, scrolling through phone, coughing up lung as above, staring off into space). It does suck that a lot of my life necessitates me being glued to a screen most of the day, but yeah, in 2025 I hope to touch more grass and look at more things that aren’t my laptop or phone screen. I hope all of you get to do more of that too.
It is both a blessing and a curse to have a newsletter that is delivered straight into people’s inboxes. Sometimes it’s nice to have people listen to what you say, other times you wish you could say it a little less loudly. I constantly struggle with wanting attention/not wanting to be touched with a five foot pole. I know some people are very successful in writing about their lives, the lessons they learn along the way, turning everything into some great adventure or big profound statement about the nature of humanity. However, I also hope that someone puts me down before I ever write something like that.
I’ll leave it here for now, but hopefully something interesting to write about comes up before the end of the month. I’m taking suggestions on interesting things to read or watch that I can hyperfixate on next!
some cool things
Really enjoyed Isaac Asimov’s Foundation books 1, 2 & 3 – pretty hard core scifi but more typical adventure rather than science. Watched 1 episode of the tv series and was so impressed by the visuals that I had to go and read the books. Now I’m going to continue the series & see what it’s all about.
Babylon (2022). People might complain that it’s too long, I say that it was just right. You already know it’s going to be a tragedy before it even gets going. It’s a beautiful movie.
If you happen to be ill like me, this youtube channel does some very soothing videos of cakes being mass produced. The sounds are very calming and it’s so satisfying to watch.
Happy new year!